I adore Lin-Manuel Miranda, but the man needs a hair intervention

The Hamilton creator stands as proof that less-than-great hair can happen even to more-than-great men

It’s a confounding paradox: who’d have thought it possible that a man could achieve such a blazingly magnificent year while simultaneously adding up such an unprecedented run of bad hair days? With the latest incarnation of his perpetually perplexing tresses, Lin-Manuel Miranda has proven himself yet again to be in a league all his own.

Earlier this summer, as the actor-writer-composer-singer-quality tweeter’s groundbreaking run in the title role of Hamilton was winding down, speculation ran high as to what the star’s next moves would be – with his career, with his personal life, and with his ponytail.

The results are in, and let’s just say that if they gave out Grammys, Pulitzers, Tonys or MacArthur ‘genius’ fellowships for haircuts, there might actually be something the guy couldn’t win. Miranda stands as proof that less-than-great hair can happen even to more-than-great men.

From the early rehearsal days of what started as a passion project through his final bow on 9 July, Miranda dutifully rocked a ponytail, that hairdo beloved both by our nation’s founding fathers and by every woman who’s ever gone to work directly from the gym. Even as costars Leslie Odom Jr, Daveed Diggs and Christopher Jackson graced the stage with more modern locks, Miranda stuck to a low-in-style, high-in-product vibe, in what we were all led to believe was about inhabiting the role of the brilliant, complicated, sometimes questionable-choice-making character he portrayed.

Along the way, he made self-deprecating jokes about sharing messy half ponytails with his female costars, and just a few weeks ago confessed to the New York Times: “I have been having dreams of going to the barbershop.” Indeed, no sooner had he departed the stage for his last performance than he sent out a picture of his freshly snipped tresses with the message: “Teach ’em how to say goodbye.”

At his farewell party that evening, Miranda sported a Muhammed Ali shirt and a haircut that cleared the collar by a margin wide enough to satisfy any Catholic boy’s school or military recruitment office. And with that, the torch of America’s Most Famous Ponytail officially passed to Ariana Grande.

While the loss of the ponytail was openly grieved in some circles, GQ gave Miranda’s new look an enthusiastic stamp of approval, declaring it “everything a first haircut in a long time should be. Stylish, page-turning, looks-enhancing, age-reversing.”

But the magic could not last. On Friday, Miranda’s father and sometime duet partner proudly tweeted out a photo of his high-achieving son captioned: “Next stop @Lin_Manuel Big Ben.”

From the looks of things, it would appear the younger Miranda is preparing for his trip to the United Kingdom by emulating Hugh Grant at his Four Weddings and a Funeral hair-flopping peak. In the words of Thomas Jefferson: whaaaaaaat?

Perhaps we should have been prepared for this. We should have remembered that peculiarly groomed goatee from Miranda’s How I Met Your Mother episode, or that unfortunate homage to Ross Geller he sported when he first offered a taste of what was then known as The Hamilton Mixtape at the White House back in 2009.

Miranda’s a busy working dad of a young child, juggling a deluge of professional and charitable projects while still making time to crack wise to his Twitter followers. He’s brilliant, funny and objectively super hot. If he wants to walk around in a football helmet or a clown wig, he will justifiably retain the unconditional love of a grateful legion of fans regardless.

But I live in the same Manhattan neighborhood as Miranda, and I know for a fact that there is a barber shop every 10 feet. This is an easily remedied situation. And I just don’t believe the most adored man in America right now threw away his ponytail just to throw away his shot at a better hairstyle.

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